Self Confession...

As a christian, I strive to be more like Christ. It is not in any way easy.

Here is a large thing I struggle with. I write this not just so you know, but more as apologies toward you, the readers.

I strive for significance. I try to be the most powerful, the wisest, the most 'christian' in my church. I apologize for that. Truly, it is pride in my life. I want people to look up at me, but I am doing it in such a way that I am looking down on people. If you feel I have looked down on you, then for that I am sorry.
I feel that sometimes I am the man on the street corner praying. Praying in the open, seeking the reward of the public, and the praises of the people.
The man who gives in the open, the man who "practices righteousness before men, to be noticed by them". That is so often me.
Boasting of my own works, and seeking the praises of others.
Can you imagine that? Boasting of works? Works? Read Isiah 64:6, and it will tell you that all our good works are as filthy rags. Or, to take a more literal and blunt meaning, as menstrual rags. Thats not just ewww, its downright nasty. That puts a whole new meaning on the term 'filthy rags' doesn't it?
So why then do I brag of my 'fitly rags'? Oh, look at me, I am such a good christian, I have This Big of a pile of gross. Check it out, and tell me what you think?

Right about now, the logical thinker would ask "Why Justin, do you write this? Are you seeking recognition? Bragging of your Christianity, flaunting that you are such a good christian by pointing out your bad?"
Maybe. I dont know. If you get that impression, please say so. If you want to point out where you think I am in the wrong as a Christian, you may do that also. If you want to complement me on my filthy rags... I dont need that.